What do you get when a paranoid crow finds a Bitcoin nest and a hoodie? A funny crypto shirt for peak self-custody energy.

Meet The Hodler – a bug-eyed, hoodie-wrapped lunatic gripping his Bitcoin stash like his life depends on it (it probably does). This shirt is for anyone who’s ever muttered “Not your keys, not your coins” into the void before checking their cold wallet for the fifth time today.

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Perfect for:
– Bitcoin nesters with commitment issues
– Self-custody maximalists and tinfoil hat traders
– Crypto users who hoard coins and trust no one

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Part of the Crypto Trash Collection — where emotional instability meets blockchain loyalty.