Because sweatpants won’t save you, but sarcasm might.
Welcome to the end of office optimism, where work bleeds into life, and your soul clocks out at 3 PM even if your body stays on Zoom. Here at DarkTacos, we believe your wardrobe should reflect the emotional spiral you’re barely holding together. This is your survival guide to burnout, meetings that could’ve been Slack messages, and the slow death of work-life balance.
Let’s get dressed for the breakdown.
1. The Zoom Call That Should’ve Been an Email
What to wear: “It’s Fine. I’m Fine.” Shirt
Camera on, mic off, soul disconnected. This is the shirt that does all the passive-aggressive talking for you. A top-tier emotionally unavailable T-shirt for those who mastered nodding while dissociating.
2. The Third “Quick Sync” of the Day
What to wear: “Create Value, Not Happiness” Shirt
You didn’t ask for this meeting. You didn’t ask for this job. But you will continue creating value. This sarcastic work shirt radiates the exact amount of menace HR legally allows.
3. Lunch Break Cry Session
What to wear: “Dead But Dreaming” Shirt
A dreamy little number for when you’re halfway through your salad and fully into an existential spiral. Funny burnout fashion that says “I’m functioning, just not well”.
4. After-Work Existential Spiral
What to wear: “Yoga Ruined My Spine” Shirt
You went to the gym hoping to outrun your feelings. Instead, you met your skeleton on a treadmill. This anti-workout shirt gets that yoga is a cry for help, not a solution.
Final Thoughts from the Edge
Your boss wants you to be motivated. We want you to be honest.
Our collections of sarcastic work shirts and funny burnout shirts are here for the overextended, the under-caffeinated, and the aggressively sarcastic workers. Because productivity is overrated, and so is pretending you’re okay.
So dress like you mean it. Or at least like you’re coping.
DarkTacos — Anti-work clothing for the terminally online, spiritually offline.